The script is simple ... and can be applied to the omnichannel movement.
Rob Lowe: "Hi, I'm Rob Lowe, and I buy stuff."
Omnichannel Rob Lowe (Holding A Tablet, A Mobile Phone, And A Laptop): "And I'm Omnichannel Rob Lowe, and I love shopping via devices."
Rob Lowe: "I like shopping at companies that have merchandise that I want to purchase."
Omnichannel Rob Lowe (Accidentally dropping his laptop on the floor): "And I like shopping at companies that allow me to access my shopping cart anywhere, anytime."
Rob Lowe: "Fact: If a company has something I want to purchase, I just purchase the item."
Omnichannel Rob Lowe: "Fact: If an influential blogger won't pin an item on Pinterest that is shared via Twitter with a hashtag and then is available for eight seconds on Snapchat and then is given a thousand thumbs up on Facebook and is then featured in retargeting ads 1,443 times per day on every website I visit and then is available online and in stores so that I can drive to a store and try on the item and then not buy the item in-store but instead have the item shipped to my home next-day from a neighboring store, shipped for free of course, I won't purchase the item. Because this is what the customer demands, right?"
Rob Lowe (pointing at Omnichannel Rob Lowe, who is grumbling that his shopping carts are not updating in real time across his laptop, mobile phone, and tablet): "Don't be like this 'me'. Drop your omnichannel habits, and just buy the stupid item, now.
Yes, this is a light-hearted tease ... I fully understand that customers use multiple devices to shop, I get it. I think it's important to point out what we are communicating ... we are telling customers to act in a complicated manner to complete simple tasks. We can spend more time simplifying shopping ... and if we did, maybe, just maybe, customers would spend more.