American Top 40

No, not the Ryan Seacrest version in 2026. I'm talking about the Casey Kasem version from the 1970s and early 1980s.

You can hear the old reruns on the 70s channel on SiriusXM.

In my case, I could hear the show from 3pm - 7pm on Sunday afternoon on WQTC, and if I missed anything I could hear it again from 6pm - 10pm on Sunday evening on WIXX in Green Bay.

I once told a client that they should have a Top 40 list for their best forty items, promoted via email marketing. Make it a weekly event. The Marketing Executive had a typically snide remark.

• "Yeah, that's what we want to do. We want to tell our competition what our best selling items are."

Of course, this company sent a pair of clearance/liquidation emails a week. The Marketing Lemonhead had no issue whatsoever telling the competition what didn't work.

If you don't want to communicate your best sellers, create your own opaque criteria like they did on the old American Top 40 Shows.

• Average Rank of Sales, Units, and Conversion Rate, for instance.

Start you email week with your Top 40 items according to this criteria. Share it on Instagram, Facebook, you name it. Have one of your merchants feature the top five items on a brief video on TikTok. Have a pregame show on YouTube where two in-house marketing influencers predict what will happen. Have the pregame show hosts read an email, a long-distance dedication of sorts.

I realize none of you will do this.

But somebody should do this.

Eventually, You'll Call The Plumber

In our modern world, we like to think we can solve any problem without added expense. The kids on YouTube call it a "hack".

For instance, we have a minor plumbing problem. In our bathroom sink, sediment sits on top of the aerator, reducing the flow of water to a trickle. Do I want to call a plumber? No! I'm sure there is a hack out there to solve the problem.

You search YouTube and Reddit. There is always some guy named @bigideas47 who says "trust me". If you can't get the aerator off because it has been fused into the threads by calcium buildup (and with that little locking device, no, you cannot get it off), you just need to soak the aerator with CLR or vinegar via the following contraption.

"Trust me, works every time" says @bigideas47.

It does not work every time.

YouTubers with names like @problemsolver5G offer solutions like needle nosed plyers or WD40.

Phrases like "impossibly simple hack that actually works" pepper the screen images of the YouTube videos.

Turns out, it does not work.

You eventually punch through the aerator to get water flowing ... and then you realize the importance of an aerator in a modern bathroom.

You know what you do next?

You call a plumber.

There's a reason why @bigideas47 and @problemsolver5G populate Reddit and YouTube with ideas ... they're not actual plumbers.

It's the same way in marketing. Except the folks with the hacks populate LinkedIn.

Marketing is teeming with Lemonheads that have hacks and fake solutions to real problems.

If you have actual problems ... and most companies have actual problems, you can't solve actual problems with hacks from third parties. Better paper stock doesn't solve a problem. Digital engagement doesn't solve a problem. You need smart people who implement actual solutions.

Eventually, you'll call the plumber.

Uncontested

I'm watching the Badgers Men's Basketball team blow the absolute doors off of (checks notes) conference rival Washington.

The announcer asks the color commentator an interesting question.

• Announcer:  "Why does Wisconsin shoot so many three pointers from so far beyond the three point arc?"
• Commentator:  "The further away from the three point line the shot happens, the less likely it is that the shot will be contested."

In other words, if the shot happens from 26 feet away, there won't be a hand in the face of the shooter.

This attempt was good, for instance.

That's where your business comes into play. If you are selling Coach handbags, selling is "contested". Yeah. You can buy the handbag from Coach. Or Coach Outlet. You can buy it from Saks. Or Dillards. Or Macy's. Or Nordstrom. You can buy a handbag from Coach on Amazon. The odds of making the sale go down the more hands there are in your face!

If your business is north of $50,000,000 in annual sales, you should probably have an employee in the marketing department who designs an "offense" (i.e. marketing plan) that differentiates your company sufficiently so there aren't "hands in your face" when you attempt to sell something to the customer.

You want your sales "uncontested".

Right?

Some Things Don't Change

Here's the first attempt at a McDonald's Happy Meal, circa 1975.

Notice the quote "at regular prices". Eventually, there wouldn't be "regular prices". Read a Lands' End email campaign for examples. The world shifted to discounts / promotions.

Yesterday I talked about how everything changes.

Everything, that is, except for discounts and promotions.

Have you ever analyzed how different customers behave?

1. Customer spends $100 at 40% off for a net of $60, gross margin dollars = $25.
2. Customer spends $60 at full price for a net of $60, gross margin dollars = $39.

Which customer would you prefer?

You need nearly 1.6 times as many orders via discounts/promotions to equal the full-priced order in this example. That's a lot of frosting on the cake, don't you think?

One of our absolutely smart readers mentioned how there is a dynamic in business where net sales grow but profit is unchanged. This dynamic happens in inflationary times, obviously. It also happens when the marketing wonks decide to eat into every available dollar of gross margin by offering 40% or 60% off to boost response. You boost response, you harm gross margin dollars.

Some things don't change.

Times Change

Here's one. Fifteen years ago, a LinkedIn warrior touted the "power" of digital analytics. "It will render how we do things useless, we'll #measure everything ... data driven organizations will reap the rewards, leaving everybody else in the rear view mirror." I was on Twitter at the time, and his nonstop cheerleading of using Google Analytics to replace old-school channels / tactics / metrics allowed him to build himself a nice little presence online.

Here's his quote from Saturday.

• "You're crazy if you fire people because AI can do their jobs. AI can do a lot of things. It cannot do jobs."

Every endeavor has its day in the sun.

In 2010, you could replace a handful of practitioners with one analyst who thoroughly knew Google Analytics ... the person of course had to have some level of business acumen (too few did), but the modern world moved old-school practitioners out, moving modern analysts in.

The modern 30 year old analyst in 2010 is now the 46 year old fossil staring AI in the face. From transformative to Luddite in just sixteen years. That's how business works. I have a 62 year old friend who led a team of four individuals. He and his staff were canned, replaced by one hapless person. The 62 year old cannot believe that all of the "value" his team created just evaporated.

My Bluesky feed revealed this little beauty.

Go read some of the DMNews archives you can find from 25 years ago. Every old-school practitioner in the book is screaming about how Amazon was likely to fail. Instead, Amazon became more powerful than most small countries, taking a huge bite out of department stores by becoming the modern department store.

And guess what? In 20 years, it will be the "Amazon-stans" who will lament whatever-comes-next. "You can't do it that way!" Of course you can.

There are still catalog professionals lamenting ecommerce. "GEN-Z HAS DIGITAL EXHAUSTION". No. No they don't. You're making up a story, refusing to yield.

Some Silicon Valley folks want "all the money". They're creating a future where white collar employment is under attack. Why do they want to pay you when they can pay a machine that they created?" And so what if that machine drains all the water out of Lake Michigan? Machines deserve water ... humans and fish?

Change is coming. As it always has. It will anger incumbents, as it always has.

 

You "Engaged" With This Post More Than Anything In Months!

Yeah, this one from Wednesday Night / Thursday Morning (click here).

It was "click fest", peeps!

You really liked the image below, with a whopping 20% of you clicking on it.

So, it made you think.

Now go do something about it. This stuff isn't difficult, it isn't expensive, but it is fully different than getting a soulless package of printer cartridges from Amazon.

Small Touches - Bloom Audio

I purchased an open box Fosi i5 open back planar magnetic headphone from Bloom Audio (click here). Yeah, I have an addiction.

Let's just say this thing absolutely sings. My goodness!

Want to see what came inside the package ... beyond the headphone? We'll start here.

Two other notes of interest were in the package.

A thank you note.

A description of the individual who packaged my item.

You'll give me a thousand reasons why you can't do something this simple. You'll also complain that just 31% of last year's buyers will purchase again next year.

A while back I had a client who put a ghost in outgoing packages. They inserted a card, similar to the one above, describing the personality of the ghost in the outgoing package. You'd think the paper industry would love this stuff. It's hard to ever find them talking about it, considering it's ... you know ... paper.

Do something small, something clever. What stops you from doing something small like this?