April 08, 2026

A Taker

We've all met takers in our personal lives. It's a horrifying experience. A narcissistic politician, an angry mother-in-law, a friend who always wants everything his way. All of it exhausting.

It isn't much different in ecommerce.

You undoubtedly have a merchandise category that is a TAKER. It takes away from other categories. It doesn't develop other categories, instead it borrows customers who then spend less in other categories and more in the TAKER category.

Here's our table. Take a look at category xx.



Read across the category labeled M11.

What a train wreck.

The category only adds value to categories 8/11/12.

The category TAKES value away from a whopping ten (10) categories next year.

This is a category that you shouldn't advertise. You can offer the category if it is profitable, sure (though that is questionable given this table), but your ROAS-obsessed analytics folks are making rampant mistakes giving this category equal treatment in any marketing channel. Catalog marketers should not feature this category anywhere ... bury it in the back of the catalog! Only feature winners here. Email marketers needs to not feature these items ... make it easy for the customer to "get" to the items online but most certainly don't feature this stuff ... those items are TAKERS harming your business long-term.

If you are going to advertise TAKER categories, do so on Organic Social. It costs you nothing. Do not waste precious marketing dollars on categories that don't play well with other categories.




April 07, 2026

A Giver

What you really want is to offer merchandise that causes customers to want to buy EVERYTHING you sell. That's how you know you're doing a good job.

Remember our table from yesterday? This brand has seventeen (17) merchandise categories. Reading across the rows, we see how much money a customer will spend next year in each category (columns) based on $1 spent in the category (row) previously. I weight historical dollars (100% past year, 60% 1-2 years ago, 35% 2-3 years ago, 20% 3-4 years ago) to add a "recency" component to historical purchases.

Here's the table.



Read across the row labeled "M09". This is Merchandise Category 9. This category is a GIVER. When a customer buys from this category, the customer spends more money next year EVERYWHERE!.
  • $0.05 in Category 1.
  • $0.21 in Category 2.
  • $0.37 in Category 3.
  • $0.23 in Category 4.
  • $0.20 in Category 5.
  • $0.22 in Category 6.
  • $0.24 in Category 7.
  • $0.11 in Category 8.
  • $0.20 in Category 9.
  • $0.29 in Category 10.
  • $0.48 in Category 11.
  • $0.33 in Category 12.
  • $0.18 in Category 13.
  • $0.33 in Category 14.
  • $0.10 in Category 15.
  • $0.26 in Category 16.
  • $0.22 in Category 17.

This category is a GIVER. It delivers added value to every category. It either causes customers to "need" what is offered in other categories (i.e. an iPhone buyer purchasing an Apple Watch) or adds a halo to the brand experience.

This is the category that gets extra attention on your home page, in your email marketing campaigns, in social. You pay extra in Google Ads for items in this category. Terms like ROAS have no real meaning, because ROAS is what average marketers use to judge success ... you have a category that adds value to every category in the future ... you're willing to pay more to have more success.

And for the catalog marketers in the audience? Your catalog pages are too expensive now, you can't afford to feature stuff like you used to. Feature the categories that cause customers to buy everything in the future. Use your catalog dollars in a smart manner, ok? (and yes, I realize that won't happen but it should happen).


April 06, 2026

Givers and Takers

It's unlikely you look at your business this way.

It's time for you to look at your business this way.

You have categories that "give" ... when a customer buys from the category the customer immediately becomes more valuable to most/all categories.

You have categories that "take" ... when a customer buys from the category the customer aligns with the category and spends less elsewhere because of the purchase within the category. It would be like buying a Quarter Pounder with Cheese at McDonalds ... only for the customer to switch to a Filet o' Fish and not go back to the Quarter Pounder with Cheese. If your job is to sell Quarter Pounders with Cheese, you become protective of "your" customer.

This is the table we'll start noodling tomorrow.






April 05, 2026

National Griddle Week

Watching soccer and a halftime commercial comes on ... it's Blackstone ... and they're promoting NATIONAL GRIDDLE WEEK. Whaaa?

I visit their website ... sure enough.



AI knows all about it.



It's apparently an event they made up out of thin air.

I gave a presentation back in 2016, talking about how "brands" (as the pundits say) would ultimately have events that they can promote everywhere ... that "brands" would become similar to sporting leagues in that a sporting league might have the Final Four or the FA Cup or Opening Day (baseball) or the NFL Draft ... events that build excitement and lead to free advertising (even if paid advertising is used to create free advertising ... remember, Glenn Glieber once said "I love free advertising").

I gave variants of that talk at conferences from 2016 - 2019. Attendees HATED IT! The idea of having to use your brain to create events that might not work was not embraced. The idea of doing virtually no work and paying Facebook for names ... that idea, dear readers, was embraced.

It's 2026 (I realize you already know that). My inbox is filled with feedback and commentary about doing the absolute easiest tasks that involve a bare minimum of work ... paired with comments like "show me a best practice that you see working across your client base". That sentence is the essence of empty, vapid nonsense.

We all have to take risks, creating reasons for customers to do something. If you're not willing to make up your own "National Griddle Week", you're not willing to go to bat for your "brand".

What is your version of "National Griddle Week"?



Difference: Old vs. New

On Friday, severe storms were developing in the Midwest. A storm chaser was broadcasting live to his followers ... he was at one of those speedy oil change places. When it was time to pay the $49 or whatever, the employee told the storm chaser that the oil change was free. One of the viewers recognized the establishment, called the Store Manager, and paid the bill.

That is one way that the modern economy works for those exploring new business models.

Then you have old school brands working with YouTube, as shown below.



First of all, there's the brain dead marketing approach used by Michaels. Does anybody at Michaels think that my stream of Podcasts, Headphone information, Weather, and Pickleball videos aligns with their brand?

But secondly, YouTube knows everything about me. They know what I watch. They know what I subscribe to. On what planet does their algorithm (#AI) believe that THIS is the ad I need to see?

Either Michaels is dumb, YouTube is dumb, or both of 'em are dumb.

We've had the wombats telling us for nearly three decades that they can serve the right ad at the right time to the right person.

They cannot do that.

When you step back and watch what modern marketers are doing vs. old school marketers, you see a gulf that is difficult to bridge.



April 02, 2026

It Won't Impact Me

It depends.




One professional emailed me to suggest his company is using AI to generate 9% increases in reactivation rates. Another professional told me he's using RFM ... a 35-50 year old technology, to decide which customers are worthy of being reactivated.

Which professional is looking to the future?

Neither.

Or both are.

We don't know. We don't know how either individual thinks about the future.

Am I future-proofing myself by creating cartoon images via AI? Noooooooo.

You might think carefully about what happens if the return on investment on AI does not materialize fast enough? Remember 1996 - 2001? The adoption of the internet and monetization of the internet did not keep up with the Goobers who overspent. I worked for a company that went from $78 a share to $1 a share within six months. You might want to think about what it means for your company and your job if the market "corrects" because AI doesn't monetize itself fast enough.

There is going to be a generation of Leaders who navigate companies through the current political environment and the adoption of AI, avoiding bubbles and controversies. Pay attention to these people, because they're the ones who own the future.

April 01, 2026

A Glimpse Ahead

I've told you about Ryan Hall Y'all and his severe weather shows on YouTube. We're in a weather pattern that will likely lead to some severe weather for a few days, so his show becomes very popular.

When he's not broadcasting (which is the vast majority of the time), his team programmed an AI-bot to run a show that describes the weather ... called the Yall Bot (click here).



Driven by artificial intelligence, the bot communicates anything currently happening and previews weather trends likely to influence the next few days ... an automated Weather Channel if you will. In the screen shot above, with absolutely nothing happening, 1,400 people were watching, and "engaged" users were chatting ... chatting about weather being broadcast by a bot.

This is the point in the discussion where somebody tells me "Hey, Goober, what does this have to do with ecommerce and my job?" Good question!

It's trendy right now to talk about how AI will eliminate jobs like copywriting. "What will Sharon do when AI takes her job?" Yes, AI is coming for Sharon's job. Which means, of course, that Sharon has to adapt.

If a bot can be programmed to broadcast the weather 24/7 (and your awful phone weather app replaces the role of the meteorologist telling you the weather on the news), you have to change as the times change.

It's easy to see the future of ecommerce when watching the Yall Bot. Take all the modern aspects of influencer retailing on TikTok and fuse it with old-school aspects of the Home Shopping Network and you have your future job ... a computer-centric Video Director providing 24/7 programming that is a fusion of automation, creativity, and authentic human selling, all projected into AI marketplaces by the bots/agencies that replace much/most of your marketing team.

We know it's coming. We know we aren't going to stop it. We know we have to adapt. Best to start adapting today.

A Taker

We've all met takers in our personal lives. It's a horrifying experience. A narcissistic politician, an angry mother-in-law, a frien...